Self-doubt

osprey wingtipBeing an artist can be a very isolating.  I spend a lot of time alone in my studio, especially now, as I prepare for my November exhibit. I’m down to crunch time and all I’m thinking about is getting things done. I feel like I’m running out of time. I need to be in the studio more. And I wonder, how will I accomplish all of this? I take comfort that it’s all going to be OK. So I breathe. I know I’m not alone, many artists face the same angst. It’s par for the course.

As an emerging artist, there’s also this underlying insecurity. What will people think? I think my work looks OK, but I’m very biased. It’s like saying your baby is the cutest. And “everybody” thinks their baby is the cutest.

I’ve realized, I’m in a different place right now. My ideas are coming from deep in my soul. It’s a life-long journey coming together and expressing itself in fabric. My art has purpose to me…I’m no longer making it just because. I have stories behind each piece. I’m moving forward. The isolation is there and the angst, but I do my best to ignore it. I’m not going to let the negative speak defeat me.

A few months ago, I made a decision to let go of something that I was deeply invested in. As I walked away from that activity, I was reminded of a call-for-entry deadline that was fast approaching. A friend of mine frequently reminds me that we never get accepted if we don’t apply. So, I pulled my stuff together and, with a kiss on the cheek, I sent in the application. Of course, I hoped for the best, but would be OK with any decision they made.

Today, I received a phone call from out of the blue. An affirmation. They are impressed with my work. I’ve been offered a solo show in a public art gallery. I had a choice of 2 dates, so I picked one. I’m going big, so I’ll need the time. September 2018. As one door closes, another opens.

Having an affirmation like this is a kick in the pants that says don’t give up. Keep trying. There’s no room for self-doubt.

2 comments

  1. Mame Johnston says:

    Nanette,

    Your work is stunning and anyone that sees it can ascertain that fact! I’m so proud of you for going outside your comfort zone and sending in the application. You are to be applauded for going for it! Can’t wait to see what else is in store for you, my first quilting teacher in Southern Pines!

    Love,
    Mame Johnston

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