Magic to enjoy

I’m currently reading Elizabeth Gilbert’s book “Big Magic.” I love reading these creative self-help books because it reminds me to let go. As you may know, I’m a long time, self-proclaimed, recovering perfectionist. There was a time when my perfectionistic behavior stopped me from doing. I even gave up quilting once, because “she” sat on my shoulder too long, nagging me. She’s still there sometimes, swinging her feet enjoying the view. I try not to let her get to me, but I sometimes I still hear her.

So I found it interesting to read Gilbert’s chapter called “Fear in High Heels.” Ouch, this struck close to the nerve. She writes that perfectionism is just fear. So very spot on. I have had these nagging dialogs in my head:

“what will they think?”
“what if I do it wrong?”
“what if I make a typo?”
“what if they don’t like it?”
“what if my stitches are crooked?”…what if, what if…
Rinse and repeat. Yah, stop, … so what!

I know, some days, easier said than done. Why didn’t I realize this was fear talking? When these thoughts start swirling around the drain or I edit my written words for the 500th time (note: I’ve been doing a lot of this the last couple weeks), there’s really just a little kid inside who fears going to the principle’s office. What she really should be doing is sitting there swinging her feet with a big grin, enjoying the magic that’s happening around her. There really is so much magic to enjoy.

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